IT’S ONLY A VEGETABLE

My eyes felt tired, tight, the way they feel after doing a lot of work, or now, more likely a lot of play on the computer. So, I rubbed them, more than a little. It felt really good the loosening of the eyelids, the skin around the edges – the renewed flow of tears that was less than it should be; the cleansing and lubrication so I rubbed harder and moved my fingers in to stretch the loose skin.

Then it began, a slight tingle at first, a gentle itch, a teasing excitement. And then it began in earnest and the pleasant tingle changes to a burn, the itch to a roar of pain, the tease into a pulsing throbbing anguish and the change was almost instantaneous. I shut my eyes, no, that’s not right, my eyes slammed shut and I couldn’t open them. The pain reverberated around my skull. The pulsing searing pain took over my attempts at control. It rolled and bit at my eyes and eyelids and even the eye brows and the upper areas of my cheeks. I had no idea what had happened, Could it be the sting of a scorpion? Not a chance – the analysis, hah, analysis under the control of the intense rushing pain? Hah, both eyes were involved at the same time and to the same degree – further I haven’t seen any scorpions around here and how - - - this is stupid, I was way off base following this stupid train of thought.

I knew at once what it was. The two inch long, mid to dark green, waxy polished surface with the deep brown stem sticking out vegetables – yes that’s what they are vegetables, were the clear cause of this agony, vegetables! Can you believe it? I thought I might be losing my vision, my sight and it was a damned vegetable!

Well of course vegetable is a mundane, lackluster term for a jalapeno, but that’s what they are. I rubbed my eyes, this time being extremely careful to keep my hands away, I used the cuffs of my sweat shirt.

I kept trying to get my eyes open, I had to get to the bathroom to find some eye drops. I found a tissue and used it to sponge up the tears that were flowing freely down my cheeks. Time expanded – it seemed like hours, I could finally, barely open my eyelids a slight crack to see my way to the bathroom. I stumbled down the hall, and opened the medicine cabinet. Every time I opened my eyes, the waves of pain returned – stronger than before.

I enjoy chopping vegetables – I love to do a stir fry since it is based on chopping. So when I offered to help with the Chie Verde prep, it was more to fill my love of chopping than to actually help with the preparation of the dish that would be the entre, served to our guests the next day. If you take all of the seeds out, the chilies aren’t too hot, right? So you split them with a sharp knife and using your finger slip the seeds out and into the drain. Slice, slip and the chilies have been rendered harmless. I washed my hands, with soap, twice, okay? I understand these things. But I could feel the tingling on my index finger, slight, a light sense of thrill, just on the surface so I really knew that the soap had not been enough and I went about my business, until, until the dryness, the fatigue in my eyes caught me off guard and I succumbed to the desire to rub my eyes – and I did!

I don’t know how long the intense pain lasted; I can still feel it now, 24 hours later. I thought my eyes would be red and swollen, and they were – a little, a disappointingly small amount of swelling for the pain involved. I do enjoy the touch of the skin on my hands, the timid tingle that continues to land on my index finger. But now the pleasant sensation is followed by a memory of the blast of pain that took so long to recover from.